Tagged with Stuart Wilde

Inspiration and Self-help for a Boozefree Life

Persian Poet, Jelaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)

This morning I got this message on Twitter:

“You’ve inspired me to have an AFD today! #Gottastartsomewhere”

Though being an inspiration for others to cut down on drinking alcohol wasn’t the goal of starting this blog (I’m assuming AFD means ‘Alcohol Free Day’), I’ve gotta say it is kind of nice knowing what you’re doing is having a positive affect on someone, somewhere, sometime.

I also recently discovered another blogger had been inspired by this blog too, having taken to including a joke in the same format as I do on my posts here on her blog (Obsolescence Project). She even gave me credit in a couple of posts, something I think was very kind considering I was, no doubt, inspired by someone else, somewhere, sometime to write the Little Booze Jokes in the way I do. And along with the Tweet it was another great reminder to me of something I think is true yet don’t always remember:

We each affect the other.

Positively and negatively. And so it goes on down the domino line.

As much as I believe in free-will and self-determination I know from my own life how others have changed me. And one of the most profound ways I have been changed is from things I have read, in particularly some great non-fiction.

While this blog post is DIRECTLY inspired by my two new social media friends (SMF’s?) mentioned above I’m not just talkin’ Twitter and blogs here. I’m talkin’ paper-made books too.

Over the years I’ve read a lot of self-help and human development books. From Louise Hay’s ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ to Stuart Wilde’s ‘Miracles’ I’ve read scores of different authors takes on how to live in the moment with complete acceptance of what you have created and what you are capable of creating (pretty much anything you concentrate on).

And while even if I don’t love each book or author in the same way, or to the same degree, I have always benefited from a new perspective. I’ve always taken away something positive from every good book I’ve read (and some of the bad).

But it’s not just non-fiction that has helped me. Fiction too has given me great insight into human behaviour, and therefore, my own habits, idiosyncrasies and hang ups. In this way I guess even the great classics like ‘Robinson Crusoe’, ‘Great Expectations’ and ‘1984’ could be seen as ‘self-help’ in that by putting myself in the hero’s shoes I learn how I might act under similar circumstances and how I might better my lot, by becoming more aware of my own and other’s human nature.

What wisdom did Shakespeare share about alcohol?

“O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains!” William Shakespeare, Othello

Then there is poetry too.

Though I don’t own much, I do value the few books of poetry I have. Most of them are by Rumi. Often, when feeling a certain wistfulness or quiet melancholy I turn to Rumi for solace. He always comes up with the goods

Here’s one of my favourite Rumi snippets, one I think relates nicely to anyone thinking about taking a break from boozin hard.

“Diminish what you give your physical self, your spiritual eye will begin to open.” RUMI

Today, right now, I am concentrating on my spirit—or ‘soul’ if you prefer. I am open to experiencing more clarity and depth in my spiritual life and that is why I am diminishing what I give my physical self.

And as I said at the beginning of this post it’s not just the great authors and poets who inspire me, every message of support and comment from readers sharing something about their journey with alcohol and self-control spurs me on and inspires me with the knowledge this is a blog worth doing.

For a year at least. Maybe longer?

My name is Ben and I’m a social experiment.

Today is Day 208 of my YOLS (Year Of Living Sober).

Little Booze Joke

A poet walks into a bar and the bartender says “What do you feel like today?” and the poet says, “A shipwrecked vessel battered by storms off the very rocks which stranded me.” The bartender stabs his own hand with a cocktail stick. The End.

 

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Who Do You Guru?


"Guru. Gee...you...are...you!"

Giving up drinking for a year wasn’t all my idea.

For years I’ve read self-help and spiritual books expressing the concept that self-discipline (of thought, action and particularly of ‘habit’) is vital to lasting happiness. Eventually, those suggestions, combined with my inner voice, led to me making a new commitment to myself:

For one year I wouldn’t drink any alcohol.

For some that wouldn’t be difficult. For alcoholics, or binge drinkers or habitual drinkers like myself however, it is a real challenge. But like a fourteen-year-old boy who’s accidentally swallowed a Viagra pill, I’m totally up for it. And, like a donut perched upon an obese man’s tummy I’m on a roll too.

Budda bing, badda boom!!

Yesterday was Day 62 of my Year Of Living Sober (today is Day 63—but it’s not finished yet!). And though I’m going fine (except for the occasional craving) I haven’t got this far alone. I’ve already received lots of encouragement from complete strangers, people who read this little blog and kindly decide to leave a comment or send me an email.

My YOLS (Year of Living Sober) guru is at once invisible and multi-faced; nowhere and everywhere; inside me and out.

I love my Guru.

In fact I love all gurus. I love them but I don’t worship them; I try not to put any living being (or dead character) on a pedestal: gazing up that way just gives me a crook neck. I am, however, grateful for anyone who shares an enlightening idea with me.

And, in 2012, when seeking divine peace, relationship harmony or the keys to a new Lamborghini, who are the guru’s average folk like me are meant to turn to anyway? Who are the big gun gurus? And how many are there?

These days it seems like there are hundreds. And I’ve been ‘touched’ by many of them; I’ve read at least one book by all of these spiritual G.U.R.U.’s:

Shakti Gawain, Dan Millman, James Redfield, Neale Donald WalschGeshe Kelsang GyatsoEckhart TolleDr Wayne DyerLouise Hay, Deepak Chopra,The Dalai LamaAnthony Robbins (THE guru of wealth/happiness manifestation for everyone from car-salesmen to politicians—two professions of not dissimilar breed) and Stuart Wilde.

Mr Wilde (or ‘Stuie’, as he’s known to regular readers) is probably my favourite spritual-self-help author, one who is often described as a ‘metaphysical guru’. Now, I love Stuie, and he has some brilliant ideas and perceptive insights to share, but he is not my guru.

Or is he?

Maybe. Or maybe all those metaphysical writers/philosophers are my guru’s?

Because as it is defined in my computer’s dictionary (and isn’t that all anyone really needs to understand the deep meanings in all things) a guru is simply:

‘a spiritual teacher, especially one who imparts initiation.’

And in some way they have all initiated me into a new part of myself: the non-drinking, clearer-thinking, fun part? An idea here, a new thought there—they, as well as many others, have all helped me on my road to self-discovery: a journey of unmasking, unveiling and revealing my omniscient, all-loving centre.

Phew.

That’s a bit of guru talk!

How ’bout tellin’ us how you FEEL, Ben?

Okay. Sure.

I feel like…who am I to offer advice to anyone.

But then, near the end of writing this post, as this self-doubt of my self-worth crept up, I clicked on my open Twitter account tab and saw this Tweet:

“Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.” ~Mother Teresa

Now, perhaps the person who quoted Mamma ‘Tess’ Teresa would like to be seen as a guru herself, or maybe she just wants to spread some love? Whichever it is, I agree with her (and Mamma Tess) in what I’ll expand upon by saying:

we are each the other’s guru when we speak kindly, with encouragement and the simple truth.

And that’s something worth doing.

The truth for me at the moment is even when I really feel like a drink sometimes, I don’t have one. And I won’t. Not for another 303 days.

But don’t get me wrong. I’m not telling anyone else what to do. I didn’t write this blog to set myself up as the ‘Guru of Booze Abstinence’ (even if my ramblings happen to inspire the odd reader to break some habit of their own); I’m just a guy going 12 months without a drink. I chose to share my little exercise in self-discipline for two reasons:

1) To make my commitment so public I couldn’t possibly retreat (into a bottle)

and

2) In case anyone else might enjoy reading about it.

My name is Ben and I’m a social experiment.

Little Booze Joke 62:

A Buddhist monk walks into a bar and the barman says, “Sorry, guy no gurus allowed,” and the Buddhist monk says, “No problem, I was looking for Nirvana but I can see it’s not in HERE.”

How about you? Do you have a list of gurus or just one?

Please leave a comment or use the contact form to send a private message.

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DAY 30: COURAGE, CLARITY AND VISION

Yesterday was day 30 of my year of living sober.

It was a Saturday.

Since it was the 10th day of December, and I started my YOLS on the 11/11/2011, that means as of today I have made it a WHOLE MONTH.

Going by the Gregorian (AKA Catholic) calendar version of a month, I have reached the first of 12 milestones I shall encounter over the next 335 days. Since this is an independent (ad)venture nobody is lining up (or lining me up) to give me a token (as I understand is the tradition in Alcoholics Anonymous) but I gave myself something recently which might serve as one for me.

It’s this ‘girasol’ gemstone.

I bought it on a trip to the local ‘Spiritual’ store—you know, the kind with fairy cards, Buddhist statues and hundreds of dream catchers hanging from the ceiling. In the late 90′s and early 00′s I used to love going into these places to buy books on Taoism and Buddhism, or self-help and -healing stuff like the latest metaphysical psychology writings of Louise L. Hay, Wayne Dyer and Stuart Wilde.

But I don’t go into them much anymore.

When I did the other day I was drawn to this little stone and while inspecting it, distracted myself by reading the ‘if you break it you bought it’ friendly warning. This of course prompted me to ‘accidentally’ drop/toss it half way across the store.

“So I guess I’m buying this one,” I said. And did.

Now my girasol stone sits at home underneath my computer screen reminding me about the special powers it imbues those who focus on it with: courage, clarity and vision.

Girasol fosters courage to speak thoughts; stimulates creativity; stimulates clarity and vision.

Just as I’m getting more creative, clear and visionary—thanks to a month off the booze—now I get an extra bonus from my magic stone.

Cool.

My name is Ben and I’m a social experiment.

Little Booze Joke 30:

Q: What did the Shaman say to the drunk?

A: There’s something in the water.

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